Don't Shark People!#
Yesterday, I did something big, really cool.
The conclusion I want to share with everyone is: Don't shark people, whether it's premeditated or impulsive, don't shark people!
Those who have sharked others know that sharking people is easy, but disposing of the shark's body and handling the scene is even more difficult.
Here's what happened. The range hood in the apartment I rented hadn't been cleaned for a long time, and it was covered in grease. The normal procedure would be to ask the landlord to send someone to clean it, but as a person who dislikes unnecessary social events, I didn't want to add another one to my life. Besides, I don't cook much, so I kept putting it off.
Recently, the range hood reached its limit. It has a small container to collect the oil dripping from the hood. Now it's full, to the point where it drips down every day. I had been ignoring it, allowing the situation to develop.
Because of work, I hadn't been to the kitchen for a while. Yesterday, I felt inspired and decided to enjoy my cooking skills after ordering from Hema. When I entered the kitchen and saw my pot, oh my god, it had nearly 2cm of oil in it.
I was furious and didn't care about anything else. I had to clean this oil container today.
At first, I wore gloves and carefully turned the container. The greasy and slippery feeling is hard to describe. The light from my flashlight reflected off the kitchen knife, and the words "cleaner" popped into my mind.
New Year's Eve, 1999, New York. Four professional cleaners responsible for cleaning up after the mafia gathered together by chance. They drank and reminisced about the past. Gradually, their stories began to contradict each other, and the ugly truth behind them gradually emerged...
There was no fan in the kitchen, and the cold air from the air conditioner didn't seem to blow in. Sweat gradually poured out like bamboo shoots, and I was still turning this small oil container. One thing to note is that it's full, so once it's separated from the main body of the range hood, it must be balanced to prevent the oil from leaking everywhere.
I don't know how long it took, but I finally took it down. I carefully and cautiously, like a bomb disposal expert in a movie, held it as if walking on thin ice. If I tilted it even a little, the bomb would explode. I just needed to tilt it a little, and the oil would flow everywhere. I had to slowly pour it into a plastic bag.
It smelled like camellia oil, but we don't use camellia oil at home.
- Memories of grilling meat afterwards
Pouring the oil requires a cold and indifferent attitude, like an assassin, or else my mentality would easily collapse. My hands couldn't shake, my mindset couldn't be rushed, and my breath had to be steady, just like when I was a mercenary in West Africa.
The pouring process was quite fast, but I was already covered in sweat. The next step was to clean the container, which was the real nightmare. My gloves were already covered in oil, and when I turned on the faucet, the faucet was also covered in oil. When I squeezed the dishwashing liquid, it got on the dishwashing liquid as well. At this point, everything I touched was oily, including the bag I used to hold the oil, which was now covered in oil as well.
Being calm as I am, I immediately decided to take off the gloves and use my bare hands.
Here's a friendly reminder, if you haven't been a mercenary in West Africa like me and don't possess an iron will, please! Absolutely! Do not attempt this high-risk behavior! This behavior will cause irreversible damage to your sanity!!!
Even with a strong will like mine, I briefly lost consciousness after coming into contact with that layer of grease. I cleaned everything instinctively, but I can't remember the specifics of how I got rid of it...
All I remember is that when I regained consciousness, I was frantically scrubbing my hands, feeling like they would never be clean...
So, don't shark people! It's better to self-shark than to shark others!