不要鲨人！#
Yesterday, I did something big, really cool.
The conclusion I want to share with everyone is: Don't shark people, whether it's premeditated or impulsive, don't shark people!
Those who have sharked others know that sharking people is easy, but disposing of the shark's body and handling the scene is even harder.
Here's what happened. The range hood in the house I rented hadn't been cleaned for a long time, and it was covered in grease. The normal procedure would be to ask the landlord to send someone to clean it, but as a person who dislikes unnecessary social events, I didn't want to add another one for no reason. Besides, I don't cook much, so I kept putting it off.
Recently, the range hood reached its limit. It has a small container to collect the oil dripping down from the range hood, and now it's full to the point where it drips every day. I had been ignoring it, allowing the situation to develop.
Because of work, I hadn't been to the kitchen for a while. Yesterday, I felt inspired and ordered some ingredients from the supermarket to enjoy my cooking skills. When I entered the kitchen and saw my pot, oh my god, there was almost 2cm of oil inside.
I was furious and didn't care about anything else. I had to clean this oil container today.
At first, I wore gloves and carefully turned the oil container. The greasy and slippery feeling was hard to describe. The light from my flashlight reflected off the kitchen knife, and the words "the Cleaner" popped into my mind.
New Year's Eve, 1999, New York. Four professional cleaners responsible for cleaning up after the mafia gathered together by chance. They drank and reminisced about the past. Gradually, their stories began to contradict each other, and the ugly truth behind them gradually emerged...
There was no fan in the kitchen, and the cold air from the air conditioner didn't seem to blow in for some reason. Sweat started to pour out like bamboo shoots, and I was still turning this small oil container. There was one thing I had to pay special attention to: it was full, so once it was separated from the main body of the range hood, I had to ensure its balance, otherwise the oil would leak everywhere.
I don't know how long it took, but I finally took it down. Carefully, like a bomb disposal expert in a movie, I had to be extremely cautious. If I tilted it even a little, the bomb would explode. I just had to tilt it a little, and the oil would flow everywhere. I had to slowly pour it into a plastic bag.
It had the smell of camellia oil, but we never used camellia oil at home.
- Memories of grilling meat afterwards
The pouring process had to be done with the coldness of an assassin, otherwise my mentality would easily collapse. My hands couldn't shake, my mentality couldn't be rushed, and my breath had to be steady, just like when I was a mercenary in West Africa.
The pouring was quite fast, but I was already covered in sweat. The next step was to clean the container, and this was the real nightmare. The gloves were already covered in oil, and when I turned on the faucet, the faucet was also covered in oil; when I squeezed the dishwashing liquid, the dishwashing liquid was also covered in oil. At this point, everything I touched was oily, including the bag I used to hold the oil, which I also touched and now it was covered in oil.
Being as calm as I am, I immediately decided to take off the gloves and use my bare hands.
Here's a friendly reminder, if you haven't been a mercenary in West Africa like me and don't have a will as strong as steel, please! I repeat! Do not attempt this high-risk behavior! This behavior will cause irreversible damage to your sanity!!!
Even with my strong will, I briefly lost consciousness after coming into contact with that layer of grease. I cleaned everything instinctively, but I can't remember the specifics of how I got rid of it...
All I remember is that when I regained consciousness, I was frantically scrubbing my hands, feeling like they could never be clean...
So, don't shark people! It's better to shark yourself than to shark others!